The Coolness Factor

The definition of being cool is a state of calm, composed, or self-confident behavior, often implying social ease, trendiness, or the ability to stay unruffled under pressure. It can also denote being agreeable (“I’m cool with that”) or, in slang, something that is excellent, fashionable, or admirable.

I have never been one of the cool girls. And I have finally accepted that it’s okay that I never will be. What do I mean by “the cool girls”? For me, it’s the picture-perfect girl—always dressed perfectly, stylish, polished—cool.

My style has always been more eclectic, I would say. Or at least more colorful. I LOVE colors and mixing different prints—ruffles, feathers, puff sleeves—you name it! As Rachel Zoe (one of the most famous fashion stylists in the world) would say: “I die for fashion.”

But then I do wonder if it wouldn’t be easier, or better, if I could simply be more “cool.” I mean, I guess in most people’s minds, the cool girl is the one they want to talk to, get advice from, and be around.

What is your definition of being cool? And is it important to you to feel that way? Or do you think we can all just define it for ourselves and be cool within our own lives without fitting into the general definition?

I was once at the movies with my father, and we were watching a Marvel movie. The hero in that movie was so cool in every way that, when we left, my dad became quite concerned. He started wondering what all the teenage kids must think, and how much pressure they must be under if those fictional characters—who are deeply admired—are the role models they grow up with.

Being a mother of two girls myself, and eight months pregnant with our third, I sometimes wonder how to navigate the “coolness factor” for kids in a way that doesn’t isolate them from others, but also teaches them that it’s okay not to be cool all the time—or at all.

Maybe being cool actually means learning to do whatever you love without being afraid of the judgment of others. I know I will at least try to live by that from now on.

For years, I wanted to start a blog but was too scared of what people might say or think. But then again—if not now, when? Regardless of whether people consider it cool or not, I just hope to connect with a few like-minded souls and maybe plant some seeds of inspiration now and then.

Lots of love,

Alisa